Last week, I shared the money conversations my daughter, now a rising college sophomore, wished we had before she left for college.
She wanted clearer guidance on the everyday financial decisions: what a reasonable weekly budget looked like, how many matchas per week are acceptable, how to handle Venmo requests when friends were slow to pay, and how a credit card works.
For many families, college is the first time they have written a large tuition check. Once tuition, housing, and the meal plan are paid, it can feel like the cost is covered.
The first college bill arrives from the university. The second arrives in pieces throughout the year.
A College Ave survey of four-year college students found that half of them said college costs ran higher than expected. On average, they underestimated their annual out-of-pocket expenses by $14,137.
That's the number this week is really about.
This week:
UNDER THE HOOD
🎒 The Second College Bill
If your child is attending college out of state, map out the travel before the school year begins.
A single year might include:
Move-in and move-out
Thanksgiving
Winter break
Spring break
One or two parent visits
Family weekend, graduation, or another campus event
That could mean five or more trips between your child traveling home and you traveling to campus.
When you visit, the cost goes beyond airfare. You may also be paying for a hotel, rental car or Uber, meals, and parking.
It is worth discussing which breaks your child will come home for, especially since Thanksgiving and winter break fall so close together.
My daughter said several of her friends assumed Thanksgiving meant going home. Finding out otherwise after move-in was disappointing.
That is a conversation to have before move-in, not after.
The costs outside the university bill
Travel is only one part of it.
Other expenses may include:
Campus life
Greek life fees, dues, clothing, and events
Club dues, gear, and travel
Football games and other ticketed events
Formals and campus activities
Food outside the meal plan
Coffee, groceries, and snacks
Late-night meals and food delivery
Meals with friends
Transportation and trips
Uber and airport rides
Weekend trips and spring break
Academic expenses
Textbooks and digital access codes
Certification, application, and testing fees
Lost, broken, or forgotten
Chargers, keys, and headphones
Medicine, moving supplies, and storage
Amazon and replacement purchases
Most of these do not feel significant on their own. Added together, they become a second college bill.
Check the student health insurance deadline
One expense deserves a separate mention because missing a deadline can be expensive.
Many universities automatically enroll students in the school health insurance plan unless families submit a waiver.
Waiving the school plan usually requires submitting proof of qualifying coverage by a specific date every year.
Miss the deadline, and you could end up paying for both the school plan and your family plan. Student Health Plans can range from $2,000-$4,000 per year.
Check the college’s requirements and put the waiver deadline on your calendar alongside tuition payments, housing deadlines, and travel bookings.
THE FINE PRINT
📋 The Paperwork to Complete at 18
Once your child turns 18, being their parent or carrying their health insurance no longer gives you automatic access to their medical or financial information.
Depending on your family’s needs, the documents to discuss include:
A durable power of attorney
An advance health care directive
A HIPAA authorization
A simple will
FERPA is separate and specific to education records. Once your child turns 18, or attends college at any age, the rights to those records generally transfer to the student. Check the college’s process if your child wants to authorize you to access certain information or speak with the school on their behalf.
Start with the forms (Healthcare and financial) for your child’s home state. If they will attend college elsewhere, check whether that state has additional forms or requirements. You want paperwork that can be used both at home and where your child will be living.
I covered these documents in more detail a few months ago, along with a framework on how to discuss the documents with your child once they turn 18, and where to find the California templates.
You can read that guide here: The moment your kid turns 18, you become a legal stranger.
MINI ACTION
✅ A 30-minute Plan for The Year Ahead
Set aside 30 minutes with your child and cover four things before the school year begins.
1. Decide who pays for what
Sort the expenses above, along with anything specific to your family, into three buckets.
The family covers it. Tuition, required academic materials, medical care, planned travel, or whatever your family has agreed to fund.
The student covers it. Personal shopping, optional upgrades, spending beyond the agreed weekly amount, or expenses the student has chosen to take responsibility for.
Discuss it first. Trips, memberships, expensive events, technology replacements, and any purchase over an agreed amount.
2. Map out the travel
Look at the academic calendar together and decide:
Which breaks your child will come home for
Which campus events you plan to attend
Who will book and pay for each trip
How far in advance tickets need to be purchased
3. Complete the paperwork
Make sure the documents your family has chosen are signed, witnessed or notarized where required, and stored somewhere accessible.
Your child should also know where to find their insurance information, emergency contacts, and copies of the documents.
4. Agree on how you will communicate
Agree on what staying in touch will look like.
How often will you talk?
Will you have a regular call or check in more casually?
What should your child do if they need help and cannot reach you?
This exercise will not make the transition easier. It can make the year that follows a little less uncertain.
Dropping your kid off can leave you proud and terrified in the same hour.
For me, it took a week before I could open the door to my daughter's room. I kept it shut until I was ready.